Adagio fromaggio:
to play in a slow and cheesy  manner.

A la regretto:
tempo assigned to a performance by the conductor after it is panned by the local music critics.

Al dente con tableau:
in opera, chew the scenery.

Allegro con brillo:
the fastest way to wash pots and pans.

AnDante:
a musical composition that is Infernally slow.

Angus Dei:
a divine, beefy tone.

Antiphonal:
referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall

A patella:
unaccompanied knee-slapping.

Appologgiatura:
an ornament you regret after playing it.

Approximatura:
a series of notes played by a performer and not intended by the composer, especially when disguised with an air of "I meant to do that."

Approximento:
a musical entrance that is somewhat close to the correct pitch.

Bar line:
what musicians form after a concert.

Basso continuo:
the act of game fishing after the legal season has ended.

Basso profundo:
an opera about deep sea fishing.

Cacophany:
composition incorporating many people with chest colds.

Concerto grosso:
a really BAD performance.

Coral Symphony:
(see: Beethoven -- Caribbean period).

D.C. al capone:
you betta go back to the beginning, capiche?

Dill piccolo:
a wind instrument that plays only sour notes.

Diminuendo:
the process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit.

Eardrum:
a teeny, tiny tympani.

Fermantra:
a note that is held over and over and over and...

Fiddler crabs:
grumpy string players.

Flute flies:
gnat-like bugs that bother musicians playing out-of-doors.

Fog horn:
a brass instrument that plays when the conductor's intentions are not clear.

Frugalhorn:
a sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.

Gaul blatter:
a French horn player.

Grace note:
the I.O.U. you deposit in the church collection plate when you're out of cash.

Ground hog:
someone who takes control of the repeated bass line and won't let others play it.

Kvetchendo:
gradually getting ANNOYINGLY louder.

Opera buffa:
musical stage production at a nudists'camp.

Pastorale:
beverage to drink in the country when listening to Beethoven with a member of the clergy.

Pipe smoker:
an extremely virtuosic organist.

Pizzacato:
the act of removing anchovies from an Italian dish with short, quick motions and tossing them to a nearby awaiting feline friend.

Placebo Domingo:
faux tenor.

Rights of Strings:
manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Bowed Instruments.

Rubato:
cross between rhubarb and a tomato.

Schmaltzando:
a sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band.

Spritzicato:
plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).

Tempo tantrum:
what a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping time with the conductor.

Toiletto:
the effect on the human voice of reverberation in small rooms with ceramic tiles.

Trouble clef:
any clef one can't read, e.g., the alto clef for pianists.

Woodwind:
a noise in the game of golf, made by a club missing the ball on a tee shot.